I feel like Marie Kondo should be added to the trifecta of public figures like Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross that we collectively consider kindly
like, they don’t know us personally or anything, but you know they want you to succeed, improve, and live your best lives
people just gently trying to guide us into treating others well, and being kind to ourselves, and tidying up
A lot of the “”discourse”“ around her is just barely subverted racism. People who don’t like her often listen to “minimalist” magazines that actually do tell you to live off one one t-shirt and a potted cactus.
The pantheon so far:
Bob Ross - Love yourself even with your mistakes!
Mister Rogers - Love your neighbor!
Marie Kondo - Love the place around you!
Stefán Karl Stefánsson
- Take care of yourself!
Steve Irwin - Be kind to animals!
The Wholesome League
I experienced several feelings while drawing this.
Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil
its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies
at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes
FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS
AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT
DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER
FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY
*Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe
1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)
1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)
½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.)
After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load.
^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent
WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!
Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.
Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.
Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.
Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)
Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.
I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.
I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Corollary to Murphy’s Fourth Law:
If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
Murphy’s Fifth Law:
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Murphy’s Sixth Law:
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Murphy’s Seventh Law:
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Murphy’s Eighth Law:
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Murphy’s Ninth Law:
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Murphy’s Tenth Law:
Mother nature is a bitch.
Murphy’s Eleventh Law:
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Murphy’s Twelfth Law:
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Murphy’s Thirteenth Law:
Every solution breeds new problems.
Murphy’s Fourteenth Law:
If anything can’t go wrong on its own, someone will make it go wrong.
Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost
The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction
The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity
We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either
Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender
The gods didn’t actually have animal heads
Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)
The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous
Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”
The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit
‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”
While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago
The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved
The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum
Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose
Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards
Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”
The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)
While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition
It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that
Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass
I can’t believe I forgot my favourite Hill to Die On
Seth was not the god of “evil”, and despite his chaos providing a foil to order, he wasn’t completely villified until very late in Egyptian history, when he became associated with despised foreign enemies
Hats off to the few of you who’re reblogging this with tags saying you’re going to check my claims later. You make me not entirely despair of this hellhole.
Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:
Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids
Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt
Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt
Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt
Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization
Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt
Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt
Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt
Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)
McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt:
Laundry Lists and Love Songs
Te Velde, H., Seth, God of Confusion
Guys do me a solid and reblog this version instead of continuously asking for sources on the other versions thanks
did i ever tell u guys that in fifth grade my class wrote a play bc we were studying ancient greece? it was called persephone and the (not so hot) heroes. i played demeter. basically, persephone got kidnapped by kronos and i strong armed hades into giving me 3 heroes from the underworld to get her back but they were actually terrible and i forget how she was actually saved but bottom line is that you wish you were my fifth grade class
this wasn’t little either, we used the town hall and we wore togas and shit
me as demeter
some lines (this was a joint effort of a bunch of greek-savvy 10/11 year olds):
athena: ‘im the goddess of wisdom but you don’t notice me telling everyone. i’m too smart for that’
-
aphrodite: is zeus chasing some mortal woman again?
athena: no this time he and hera have gone for marriage counselling
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athena: we can ask hades to let them out of the underworld to help
aphrodite: he’ll never agree, he’s such a deadly bore (we made a fucking pun im so angry)
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demeter: hades wont pick up. he’s too busy torturing the dead in tartarus
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hades: i can’t undo the laws of death. just think of the paperwork.
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aphrodite: the humidity is messing up my hair. it’s getting all frizzy
athena: is that all you care about?
aphrodite: no, it’s also messing up my dress
-
demeter: it’s so dark, and there aren’t any trees or flowers
hades: what do we need trees for, everybody’s dead
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paris: yeah, and i can shoot straight! isn’t that right, achilles?
-
(hades enters)
paris: who are you? do we know you?
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achilles: im mighty achilles
odysseus: im wily odysseus
paris: and im hungry paris
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kronos: i really am awesome, aren’t i
-
aeton: one wrong move and you’re history
odysseus: fool! we already are history!
-
demeter: where are those mortals? i left them right there.
athena: are you sure? this isnt the first time you’ve lost someone.
I suddenly have the need for the entire screenplay, and to direct it at my college.
You’ve always been a clumsy person. One day, you wake up tied to a chair, and in front of you is the best Hitman in the world, who has been trying to kill you for years.
“Bill?” you say, as your eyes finally adjust.
Your coworker of nearly a decade stands before you, garrote in hand.
“Son of a-” Bill sputtered out, clearly exasperated, “I’ve been trying to kill you for 8 goddamn years! Who the hell else would it be?”
“You’ve been… trying to kill me?” Your mind races as you think back on all your previous encounters, “I just figured you really liked hugs and really hated cans.”
“I was aiming for you, you stupid little grubworm,” his teeth grind together so tightly, you half expect them to disintegrate, “I kept hitting the cans because you kept tripping over what I can only assume is the air itself! Why do you hang around piles of cans so much anyway?!”
“It reminds me of home,” you reply.
“SHUT UP!” Bill is at the end of his rope, or at least the end of his knife, which is slowly being thrust in your direction, “That doesn’t even make sense, but I don’t care. I’m here to finish the job and finally move on with my life. No more happy little accidents!”
He begins to approach, knife in hand.
“Don’t I get any last words?” you ask, hoping he’s as big a movie buff as you.
“You’ve had 8 years of last words, and they’ve all been SHIT,” Bill hastens his approach, “So just SHUT UP and let me murder you in peace.”
“I don’t know what I did to provoke you,” you offer, desperately trying to stall for time, “but whatever it is, I’m so… sor… sooooaaaahCHOO!”
The dust in this big empty room must have aggravated your allergies, resulting in a reality-shaking sneeze, sending your glasses flying off and your head straight into Bill’s crotch.
Bill doubles over, cursing your family name, your mother’s grave, and your stupid face. He crawls away, presumably to regain his composure, only to rise up and run straight at you with a roar of concentrated rage.
Or, at least, he would have, if he hadn’t stepped on your glasses (”Ah, there they are,” you note to yourself), causing him to lose his footing and fall…
…directly onto his knife.
Now you’re in an empty room with a dead man. Not your ideal Wednesday night, but at least it’s quiet.
“You’ve had 8 years of last words, and they’ve all been SHIT.”
Looks like Dark Horse is pulling out all the stops for the 25th anniversary of Hellboy - mark your calendars for Hellboy Day 2019, on March 23! Featuring temporary tattoos, buttons, bookmarks, posters and other promotional material
